Moving Out: A Goodbye to the First Apartment

Thoughts | Abbey Wilson

Anyone who has ever been in my apartment could tell you that I am not a minimalist.

The number of mugs in my cabinet would probably seem excessive to even a family of four. Both of my closets are completely full of things. For some reason, when I moved into this rented apartment, I felt that I needed to lug my entire bookshelf from my bedroom at my parents’ house along with nearly every single book I owned, even though I have opened maybe three of said books since moving in. 

On the other hand, the white walls have remained bare throughout the entire year, because every time I noticed their clinical blankness I told myself I was not staying here long enough to bother filling them. After a year of establishing myself here by figuring out how to cram my things into various closets and cabinets, it is now time for me to put all of them back into moving boxes, consequentially ending a certain chapter of my life. 

Like everyone, I need my space, but I have never been an introvert. This apartment is the first place in which I have ever lived by myself. Growing up, living in my own space was something I dreamed of and heavily romanticized. However, actually living by myself, especially during a time of wider isolation, was at times really difficult for me. Luckily this space was big enough to have a few friends over for a movie night or a dinner party, but I often felt a bit overwhelmed by the almost constant solitude. When you live alone, you can only come home to yourself. 

Although I do not feel particularly attached to the apartment itself, I am not immune to the nostalgia and saccharine sentimentality that comes too easily with leaving something behind for good. After all, I will never live in this apartment again. If everything goes according to plan, I will not be living in this city again until next year. However, the packing up and the leaving and the ending will allow for more possibilities somewhere else. In this case, I am more than happy to say goodbye.